UPDATES.

Now that I plan to get serious about this blogging business I thought I might as well give whoever reads this blog some updated info about me. My first post is really, REALLY outdated. My life has changed a lot since then, and so has my style of writing. I'm not sure if y'all even give a shit, but I'm gonna do it anyway.

One of the biggest changes in my life is that I've graduated from JC since my last post. I scored pretty decently for my A levels, and secured a position at SMU's business school. I'm pretty stoked about that to be honest. All my peeps in uni now probably don't share my sentiments though. HAHA. 

I'm currently serving my 2 years in national service. I guess I could be called a clerk, but I do do a lot more than just mere computer work. I'm involved in a lot of surveys and testing, but that's all I can say for now - pretty sure I'm NOT supposed to be getting into the details on a public space like this. I'm really satisfied with what I'm doing though. Its fulfilling, and the fact that I have awesome superiors and co-workers is definitely a major plus point.

Still, I can't wait to ORD.

Other than that, I've been trying to make efficient use of these two years. I want to develop my passion in my hobbies like photography, cookery, music and writing. I want to pick up new skills, and also perfect the ones that I already have. I've started learning to play the piano, and I plan to move on to the guitar as well. I want to get fit and active too - I wanna look goooddd. I also want to make some money, though I haven't quite figured out how I'm gonna do that. Heh.

Getting into this blogging thing is another one of these things that I'd like to do. I feel that it's the perfect platform on which I can practise and also showcase my love for the hobbies I mentioned earlier. I'm really inspired by the people who've solidified their presence in the blogging world doing exactly that.

I'll definitely be blogging more in the future, about my travels, love of food and just anything really. I hope y'all can relate to what I share and talk about. Bye for now!

SICK.

There's been so much going on lately, at home especially, and it's really getting to me. It's as if two tall and strong towers are tumbling and I am just stuck helplessly in the middle, about to be squashed to death. It's so complicated. I get really tired at work and always dream of coming home, but when I actually get home I forget why I longed to be home at all. Being at home is actually suffocating. While I try my best to seem happy and relaxed, I simply mask the strong feeling of anxiousness and fear that something bad is about to happen. I feel tense when my parents are at home at the same time - a feeling I never in a billion years thought I would ever feel. 

The worst part is, I feel like I have no one to talk to. There's nobody that I feel close enough to to share my worries and sorrows with. At the same time, I think I probably wouldn't even do that if I did have these close friends in my life. I am always the positive and cheerful one, and I would never want to make anyone feel sorry or sorrowful because of me. I just feel stuck. I want to scream, so loud it exhausts me and gives me a sore throat, but I can't even do that without letting people know of my troubles. I don't think there's even a place in Singapore that's isolated enough for me to scream that loudly. 

I know nobody really reads this, and hence I feel more or less comfortable sharing my feelings here. It's the same thing though - I'm still not too sure if I want anyone to read this blog or not. All I can say to sum off is that I really hope that things get better, not only for me but for my family. I will continue to fake the image of positivity and calmness, and maybe things will get better after all. I've always gotten rid of my problems with positivity, be in with my studies or even the major surgery I had earlier this year, so I pray that it works again. I love my family very much, and I would hate to see it be broken apart over what can definitely be solved with patience and time. I hope my parents see that.